Look Out, Dumbass!

My roommate, a guy (who happened to be the best roommate I ever had!) and I were jogging one day, back in the day when jogging was the fad thing for baby boomers to do to their abused bodies.

He was running ahead of me, his legs were a lot longer which gave him the lead in any race or run. I was trying to keep up with him but my smoking habit had created so much havoc on my lungs I was having trouble just breathing, let alone running as fast as my roommate.

I was just about to give up and walk home, leaving him still running like a fool, oblivious to the fact I deserted him, until I saw him running and checking out a chick that was running in the opposite direction. This chick was very pretty, had a great body, and my roommate (who I seriously thought he was asexual, he'd never brought home a girlfriend or even a one night stand) was drooling while running, turning his head in the chick's direction as she ran past.

I was surprised that my roommate was so bold as to holler out to this lady but he did, and kept looking toward her even while she was behind him so my roommate was running while looking where he'd been instead of where he was going...

That was a bad mistake. I saw the fire hydrant long before my roommate ever got near it and I thought to myself, "I ought to warn him so he'll turn around and watch where his legs were taking him" but I guess a cat got my tongue (or I'm as evil as my roommate now thinks I am!) and I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

I almost started laughing before it happened. You can guess what came next, I'm sure of it but I'll have to tell you anyway.

In the midst of catching the young lady's attention with a hoop and holler, while looking behind him at her while running forward, my roommate came in contact with that fire hydrant just as the young lady looked back at him to see who was hollering at her.. So she and I both saw my poor roommate run right into the fire hydrant and endo over it, doing some kind of wild front flip, landing on his back on the other side of it.

I have to be honest with you, before I ran to make sure he was okay I paused in thought while all I could do was laugh my ass of and just about wet my pants in the process. It was one of those laughs that makes you go weak all over and just about collapsed on the sidewalk, eye balls squirting with tears from laughing so hard.

The young lady who my roommate was trying so hard to woo with his whistling and woo hooing stopped for just a sec, looked over to where I was still splitting a gut, looked back at my poor roommate laying face down in the grass and decided I would be the one to give him first aid if he needed it. She looked back at me and nodded quickly, started running again, and giggled a soft giggle at the whole sceanario. I thought, this lady has class. I would have been laughing my ass off so hard this poor guy would never try to seduce a lady in public again, let alone while running in public.

So now here's what you're probably wondering..

Yes, my roommate was okay, he was a bit sore but I think his pride was hurt more than anything. lol

Yes, that was the end of our running daze. heh, heh. I tried and tried to get him to go running again after that but had no luck. Gee, I wonder why???